


they think my lover is strange

by the_one_that_fell



Series: OMGCP Rare Pair Hell [15]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 09:42:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11918220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_one_that_fell/pseuds/the_one_that_fell
Summary: A collection of rare pair/ship drabbles and ficlets originally posted to Tumblr.





	1. bitty/dex

**Author's Note:**

> All of these have previously been posted to my tumblr, [alphacrone.](http://alphacrone.tumblr.com/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on [tumblr here.](http://alphacrone.tumblr.com/post/164642772112/bittydex-drabble)

“Mm…honey? What’re you doing up?”

Dex waved his toolkit at Bitty, a frown growing on his face. “I think I know a way to fix the dryer and keep it fixed. I just gotta-”

“No,” Bitty said, patting the small space next to him on the mattress. “Morning.”

“It’s technically morning-”

“Uh-uh.” Bitty buried his face in his pillow and hit the mattress a little harder. “You have a room here, muffin, you don’t have to work for dibs anymore.”

Dex huffed. “It’s not for dibs, Bits, I can fix the dryer-”

“After the sun’s risen,” Bitty said. “Come back to bed.”

With a sigh, Dex dropped his toolkit and crawled back under the covers, smiling a little as Bitty immediately flopped onto his chest like he were a giant pillow. “It’s not for dibs. It’s for you. You hate using a clothes line.”

Bitty laughed softly and kissed whatever skin he could reach. “Carrot cake, I love you, but you gotta know that all I want right now is you in my bed.”

“Alright,” Dex murmured, pulling Bitty closer. “In the morning, then.” Bitty kissed his chest one last time and closed his eyes, asleep almost instantly. Dex smiled, brushing hair from Bitty’s face, and let all his anxiety and energy fade away into that sort of peace that always came with watching Bitty. He slept long past the rising of the sun, and forgot all about the dryer when he opened his eyes to Bitty’s smile.


	2. ransom/jack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on tumblr [here.](http://alphacrone.tumblr.com/post/164487147192/ransomjack)

“Babe, what’s wrong?”

Ransom rolled over, noticing the tension in Jack’s shoulders even as he pretended to sleep.

Jack sighed and turned onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “Do you think he hates me?”

For a long minute, Ransom thought Jack was referring to the Penns player whose nose Jack had broken in his last game. Then he realized Jack’s obvious meaning. “You know Bitty isn’t capable of hating anyone.”

“I broke up with him because of the stress it was causing us both and now I’m dating you, not a year later.” The anxiety made Jack’s voice shaky, soft. Ransom draped an arm over his boyfriend’s waist, pulling him close. “Tell me that’s not a dick move.”

“On paper, it sounds a little like a dick move,” Ransom conceded. “But, babe, your reasons were legit. And, like, I  _possibly_ saw Bits making out with Holster at the last kegster, so it’s not like he’s pining or anything.”

When this didn’t make Jack laugh, Ransom sighed softly and shoved at Jack’s side until he flipped onto his stomach. Before Jack could protest, Ransom straddled his back, using that  _fine_  ass as a seat as he dug his fingers into the knots in Jack’s shoulders.

“Babe, you’re not a dick,” he said, smirking as Jack melted into his touch. “Break-ups are messy and awkward, but Bits still loves you–and me–and, like, things are different now than they were then. I live closer. You’re not a rookie anymore. I’m not afraid to come out to my family. You’re not afraid to come out to your team. And, like, who better to understand your anxious ass than  _my_  anxious ass?”

Jack snorted, and Ransom took that as a win, letting Jack turn over so that Ransom was now straddling his waist. “I don’t understand how you’re so good at this when you’re so  _bad at this_.”

“What can I say?” Ransom leaned down to kiss Jack, bumping their noses together intentionally to make Jack laugh again. “I’m fluent in English, French, and Zimmermann.”

“My trilingual hero,” Jack deadpanned, manhandling Ransom into being the little spoon. Ransom leaned back against his chest, feeling warmth spread through his body as Jack twined them together. “Thank you,” he murmured, nuzzling his face against Ransom’s neck.

“ _De rien,_ ” Ransom said, letting his eyes fall closed, his big, anxious, wonderful boyfriend wrapped around him.


	3. shitty/dex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted [ on tumblr here.](http://alphacrone.tumblr.com/post/164470155142/shittydex)

“…How exactly did you break the door again?”

Shitty took a long drag of his joint. “Sledding.”

Dex had no idea how sledding was related to the destruction of Shitty’s bedroom door, but he continued installing the new one without question. He almost had everything level on the hinges when a heavy weight nearly knocked him off balance.

“Shits, I can’t do this with you hanging off of me.”

Shitty made no move to unwrap his arms from around Dex, so Dex heaved a sigh–inhaling more secondhand smoke than he’d prefer–and adjusted the blocks on which he balanced the door.

“You should go pro, brah,” Shitty slurred, taking one hand off of Dex to hold his joint. Dex tried not to feel disappointed.

“Pro carpenter? No offense, but I wouldn’t be collecting all this fun student debt if I wanted to be a handyman.”

Shitty laughed softly. “Nah, man, pro hockey. Got filthy hands, man. Filthy.”

It took every ounce of willpower Dex had to finish screwing in the hinges, when all he wanted to do was lean back against Shitty and steal his joint. He’d relax when the job was done.

Shitty began singing some ridiculous tune, face plastered against Dex’s back, and Dex worked faster, determined to reap his reward.


	4. ransom/tater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted [ here on tumblr.](http://alphacrone.tumblr.com/post/160986850812/ransomtater-orrrr-super-rare-snowynursey-i)

“Be cool, man.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m always cool.”

“Neither of you is ever cool, so shush up,” Bitty hissed. He looked nervous, and Ransom felt a little guilty. Jack had only recently come out to the team and while this wasn’t the first time Bitty would be around all of the Falconers, he still feared the reactions of some of them. Luckily, he had Ransom and Holster as his backup.

“Bits, you’re already buds with Mashkov, you gotta cut us some slack,” Ransom said as they entered the bar that had been rented out for the event. He could see Jack across the room, waving at them, and Bitty was immediately pulled to the side by a pretty blonde he assumed was the goalie’s girlfriend. Ransom grabbed Holster’s arm and they lingered nearby, just in case Bitty started feeling insecure.

“Glad you guys could make it,” Jack said as he approached, slapping them both on the shoulder. He dropped his voice and added, “I really appreciate it.”

“Bro, we’re helping Bits and meeting Mashkov,” Holster said in an undertone. “It is absolutely our pleasure.”

“Hey, B!”

Suddenly Bitty was torn away from Pretty Blonde and swept up in a hug by none other than Alexei Mashkov. Bitty laughed and let Mashkov lift him a foot or so off the ground, looking much more relaxed than he had moments before.

“Tater, let me introduce you to my friends,” Bitty said once he was back on his feet. “This is Justin and Adam – or Ransom and Holster, as we call them on the team. Boys, this is Alex-”

“Call me Tater,” Alexei boomed, pulling both of them into a quick hug. “Any friend of B and Zimmboni is a friend of mine.”

“ _Ohmygosh_ ,” Ransom hissed at Holster. “It’s, uh, really great to meet you, man,” he added a bit louder, voice embarrassingly high. “You’re, like, really cool.”

Tater pulled back and beamed at him, his smile turning into something a bit sharper as he looked Ransom up and down. If he hadn’t been Alexei Mashkov, star hockey player and  _super awesome mega-cool_  pseudo-celebrity, Ransom might’ve thought he was-

“Keep telling Zimbonni to bring by college friends,” Tater said, slapping Bitty on the back so hard he stumbled forward. “Why should Zimbonni be only one with smart boyfriend?”

The look Holster gave Ransom was equal parts stunned, giddy, and suggestive. Ransom could almost read the thoughts written across his face: if you don’t get on that, I might.

“You thirsty?” Tater asked, nodding towards the bar. Ransom was almost certain he heard Holster mumble, “Yeah, Justin, you  _thirsty_?” but all he could do was nod and follow Tater, heart beating out of his chest.

Behind him, Bitty asked, “Do you think this means Ransom’ll be joining me at more of these events?”

Ransom grinned. He could only hope so. 


	5. lardo/george

Georgia Martin did not get flustered.

George was an Olympic medalist. She managed aggressive, sometimes immature athletes for a living. She had overcome a thousand shades of bigotry in her life with poise and cutting wit. There was very little that scared George, or even made her uncomfortable. 

Then Jack and Bitty hosted a party, and she met Lardo. 

For one, a woman who willingly went by the name Lardo? That took either serious guts or a total disregard for anyone else’s opinion. George was immediately fascinated by this tiny, silent woman with the undercut and torn denim dress. 

“Oh, George, have you met Lard- Larissa?” Jack asked, hand on her back as he led her into the kitchen. Bitty was whirling around, mixing pots and plating chips, ever the dutiful host. Lardo was perched on the counter, occasionally stopping him to feed him sips of wine. 

“‘Sup,” Lardo said to George, nodding in greeting. “Boys call me Lardo. Team manager for Samwell.” 

“Nice to meet you,” George said, stopping Bitty to hand him the wine she’d brought. Bitty gasped and hugged her in thanks, then was off again to shout directions at someone named Chowder. “Boys call me George. Assistant GM.” 

“So, you save their asses on a daily basis?” Lardo asked, sipping at her own beer. “Samesies.” 

“Lardo’s the most efficient team manager Samwell’s ever had,” Jack told George, stopping Bitty and tucking an arm around him to hold him still for a quick moment. Bitty leaned against Jack, looking weary and nervous. George wanted to smooth back his bangs and sit him down with a glass of wine and blanket. “She totally re-did our scheduling system, had room assignments down to an art form. Could give you a run for your money, George.” 

And then Lardo winked at her, and George was rendered absolutely speechless. 

Good lord, she was fucked. 

And if she was really lucky, Bitty and Jack would keep hosting parties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on tumblr [ here.](http://alphacrone.tumblr.com/post/160968555972/rarepair-lardogeorge-i-mean-theyre-both)


	6. bitty/ransom

“Did you know the Better Bitty Booty Bureau was me trying to flirt with you?” 

Bitty looked up from his phone, raising an eyebrow. “Seriously?” 

Ransom shrugged. “It was literally an excuse to spend time with you and compliment your ass.  _I_  thought it was obvious. Holtzy had to point out that you weren’t uninterested, you were just oblivious.” 

“Honey,” Bitty said, setting down his phone to cup Ransom’s face in both hands. “We’re friends with Shitty. Inappropriate comments about each other’s asses is  _totally_  platonic in this household.” 

He had a point. “Okay, but I’m not Shitty.” 

“No,” Bitty said with a shake of his head. “But you  _are_  one half of the duo that literally filmed a PSA about Jack’s butt.”

“And that didn’t turn out to be so platonic either,” Ransom argued, shifting in the bed so that Bitty’s chin rested on his chest. 

Bitty rolled his eyes but smiled fondly. “You really wanna call  _me_ oblivious when Holster was courting Rock Lord over there?” 

“Touché,” Ransom conceded, pressing a kiss to Bitty’s forehead. “You wanna do squats today? After breakfast?” 

“Why, Mr. Oluransi,” Bitty teased, hand over his heart. “Are you trying to sneak a peek at my booty?” 

“You caught me,” Ransom said with a grin. “My motives aren’t pure at all.” 

“Good,” Bitty said softly, leaning up to kiss him. “Neither are mine.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on [Salmon Bowties](https://salmonbowties.tumblr.com/), my new bittyrans sideblog.


	7. jack/shitty/bitty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in this [series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/779856), during year 3 ep. 4

“I miss your flow,” Bitty said, running his hands through Shitty’s hair. They were up in Bitty’s room as the party raged downstairs, shoes kicked off and kissing softly, waiting for Jack to sneak away.

“Me too, Bits,” Shitty sighed, lips pressed against Bitty’s neck. “Harvard brats aren’t as fun as I’d hoped.”

“I hate to say this,” Bitty said, sliding his hands down to the back of Shitty’s neck. “But I think you’re a Harvard brat, too, baby.”

“I know,” Shitty sighed. “And, like, they’re mostly nice people, but  _fuck_  are they just totally disconnected from everyone and everything. I just don’t wanna go back to being that way.”

“You won’t,” Bitty insisted, bringing their foreheads together. “You’ve got me and Lards to kick your ass back into reality.”

Shitty grinned and pushed Bitty back against his pillow. “Thanks.”

A throat cleared on the other side of the room, and they both looked up to see Jack standing there, closing and locking the door behind him. “Getting started without me?” He chirped. And  _fuck_  did he look good tonight, relaxed and happy.

“Brah, I keep forgetting how fucking swole you got over the summer,” Shitty said, sitting up straight and making grabby hands at his other boyfriend. Jack slipped off his shoes and sat on the bed next to Bitty, kissing Shitty deeply.

“I miss your flow,” he said softly, bringing a hand up to brush at the skin of Shitty’s neck, so oddly bare without the cascade of hair that used to fall against it.

Bitty laughed. “That’s what I just said.”

“Augh, quit reminding me it’s gone,” Shitty wailed dramatically, falling against Jack’s chest, legs still draped across Bitty’s body. Bitty wriggled into a sitting position and pulled Jack in for a quick kiss.

“You were so good, Bits,” Jack said, wrapping an arm around Shitty’s waist as Shitty began sucking at his neck.

“Sweetheart,” Bitty protested, grinning at Jack. “It was just a little shove.”

“It was a motherfucking check and you know it,” Shitty said, kicking lightly at Bitty’s stomach. “You’ve come so far. Let us love on you.”

Bitty rolled his eyes, face turning pink. Jack chuckled and kissed him again, laughing harder as Shitty shoved him away to take his turn with Bitty. “And your pass to Rans to tie it up,” Jack added softly. “Nice.”

“You charmer,” Bitty said as Shitty moved onto his jawline. “Mm.  _Oh_.”

“I don’t have much time,” Jack said a little sadly. “But let’s…celebrate.”

“We’re proud of you, Bits,” Shitty said. “Motherfuck, I’m so proud of both you fuckers, bring it in.”

He pulled at Bitty until they both piled on top of Jack, laughing and grinning like fools. Jack wrapped two large arms around them and closed his eyes, face calm and content and totally in love. It made Bitty’s heart swell, to see him like that.

“Here’s to Bits and that fucking check,” Shitty said. “And Jack’s rookie year.”

“And our over-achieving Harvard brat,” Bitty added with a smirk. 

“Here’s to us,” Jack said quietly. “And this moment.”

“Ugh, I love you guys,” Shitty said. “Never wanna leave this bed.”

“Don’t talk about leaving,” Bitty said. “Just kiss me hard enough that I forget you both have to go home.”

“We’re not going home,” Jack said, kissing Bitty’s cheek. “We can’t, when  _you’re_ our home.”

Bitty felt his throat grow tight, but warmth spread through his bones as he let his boys pull at him and hold him tight. It sucked that they weren’t in the Haus anymore, were off on their own adventures without him, but at the end of the day, he knew in his gut they’d always come back to him. And for now, that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross-posted to [tumblr.](http://alphacrone.tumblr.com/post/165696522477/here-have-some-jackshitsbits)


	8. bitty/dex #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on [tumblr.](http://alphacrone.tumblr.com/post/165828977442/have-some-bittydex)

“Mind if I join you?”

Bitty was standing above him, grin easy and voice barely loud enough to carry over the sounds of the party inside. Dex stared at him; Bitty glowed in the porch light, soft and gold and honey-rich.

“You feeling okay?” He asked, the tenor of his voice sweet as the peach schnapps on Dex’s tongue. Dex wondered, suddenly, if Bitty would taste like peaches, too.

“Yeah,” he heard himself say. “Just…distracted.”

The corner of Bitty’s mouth quirked upward, forming one of the dimples Dex had found his gaze drawn to lately. “Too much to drink?” Bitty guessed, sitting down on the porch step next to him. “Thought you frogs had learned to hold your liquor at this point.”

And Dex thought he finally understood those moments in romance movies, where time slowed and everything grew soft and hazy. He hadn’t felt this way in seventh grade when Natalie Jones asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance, nor had the world seemed beautiful and unreal when Caroline Fisher kissed him in the back row of the movie theater when he was sixteen. But Bitty…

Dex laughed and ran a hand through his hair. “Guess there’s still plenty I have to learn.” He cast a look sideways at Bitty, nerves bolstered by the alcohol thrumming in his veins. “Maybe…you can teach me.”

Even in the dim light, Dex could see Bitty’s blush. It was the splotchy kind that spread up the apples of his cheeks and up his temples, along his hairline. Dex wanted to reach out and touch it, and so he did, tracing his fingers up Bitty’s jawline to follow the feverish trail. Bitty closed his eyes as Dex’s thumb brushed the corner of his lips, then opened them again when Dex pulled his hand back suddenly.

“Sorry,” Dex murmured, suddenly self-conscious. “I haven’t…I didn’t…not until Samwell…”

Bitty nodded, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed roughly. Dex let loose a deep sigh; he didn’t have to explain himself to Bitty. Bitty understood.

“I could use another drink,” Bitty said, rising slowly. Dex thought this might be his way of leaving, until Bitty held out his hand. “Any schnapps left?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Dex said, taking Bitty’s hand to rising to his feet. “I drank the last of it.”

“That’s a shame,” Bitty said, leaning in close, hand ghosting across Dex’s belly and settling against his ribs, palm splayed. “I wanted to taste some.”

Cupping Bitty’s neck with his hands, Dex leaned down to press their mouths together. Bitty licked into his own teasingly, sucking and moving with a characteristic enthusiasm. They pressed together, chest-to-chest, and Dex marveled at the broadness of the shoulders set so far below his, the thickness of Bitty’s arms around his waist. It was overwhelmingly attractive, and finally–finally–something Dex allowed himself to have.

“Mmm,” Bitty said, pulling back, lips swollen and red around the edges where the skin rubbed against Dex’s stubble. “Sweet, but not too sweet.”

“Little like you,” Dex chirped. “S’why I like it.”

Bitty grinned at him, eyes alight despite the darkness of the evening. He held onto the front of Dex’s shirt, as if afraid Dex might run or vanish into thin air. Dex threaded his fingers through Bitty’s hair and pulled him close again; it was a promise, or something like one. “Funny,” he said, licking his lips. “I was thinking the same thing.”


End file.
